Tired

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
stormstruck-angel
ladylike-foxes: “ embyrr922: “ cali-cocaine: “this is good ” I’d just like to add, see how they behave when they’re angry/frustrated/exhausted, and if you see something that concerns you, wait until they’re calm, and then talk to them about it. My...
cali-cocaine

this is good

embyrr922

I’d just like to add, see how they behave when they’re angry/frustrated/exhausted, and if you see something that concerns you, wait until they’re calm, and then talk to them about it.

My husband used to yell when he got frustrated, but after I explained to him that I found it upsetting, he stopped yelling and started consciously working on asking for help before he got to that level of frustration.

When I’m upset over something, or just in a bad mood, I tend to withdraw. My husband explained to me that it makes him feel like I’m mad at him, so now when I need some space, I’ll tell him what I’m upset about, or that I’m in a bad mood for no particular reason, and I need to be alone for a little while.

See your friends and partners at their worst, but don’t assume that their worst is immutable. If someone loves and cares about you, they’ll try to accommodate you to the best of their ability.

ladylike-foxes

^^^^
This is the best advice I’ve ever seen on this site, and it is so important. Communication is everything, and is 80% of the reason my husband and I have such a healthy, strong, and supportive relationship.

alotistwowords
thisisallthehattersfault

Hunger Games didn’t really eat holes in my brain the way that it did for some other people but god the opening lines. The opening lines. Katniss wakes up in bed and immediately, instinctively reaches beside her, only to find the bed empty and cold. Before we even know her name – before we know literally anything about her or this world or her place in that world – we know that she loves someone. We know that she is reaching for where Prim should be, sleeping safe and warm beside her, but Prim is not there. She is not there, and her half of the bed is cold and empty.

People talk about characters being “doomed by the narrative” when most of the time the character was literally just a well-foreshadowed death, but Prim WAS doomed by the narrative. It’s the very first thing we learned. It’s the most key, integral, important piece of information we’re given about everything that is about to happen: Every single choice Katniss makes is to protect her little sister, and it isn’t enough. In the end, Prim still dies. Prim was dead before the story even started.

Katniss, reaching. Prim’s side of the bed was cold and empty. There is no version of this story where Prim could have been saved.

Katniss, reaching. The very first thing she does in the series. She wakes, and she reaches, but Prim is already gone.

THAT is how you do Doomed By The Narrative.

Edit: Also it is key that there was literally nothing Katniss could have done differently. If she had not acted to save Prim, Prim would not have survived the Hunger Games. But by acting to save Prim, Katniss accidentally kicked off an entire rebellion and ultimately massively increased the amount of danger Prim was actually in. The key is that this is irrelevant. If Katniss had done literally anything differently, Prim still would have died. If Katniss had faltered or changed course at any point, Prim still would have died. There was never a point where Katniss could have changed Prim’s fate.

There’s no version of this story where Prim lives to see the end of it. She’s dead before the story begins. That’s doomed by the narrative.

indigoire
incognitopolls

Do you have preferences for your own funeral?

I haven't thought about my funeral at all

I don't care at all, I'll be dead anyway

I want to be buried according to my religion's practice but that's it

I'd like something specific to happen to my body but beyond that I don't care

There are some specific things I want to happen at the service

I care about what people will wear and say

My feelings are more complicated than that

See Results

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

I am somehow a mix of I'll be dead do whatever And There's a few specific things Because I have my (dark humour) wants but also its not about me
big-tiddy-goth-ghoulfriend
ms-demeanor: “ms-demeanor: “Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that. HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION...
ms-demeanor

Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that.

HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN.

HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS.

Featuring Helpful Sections such as:

  • Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and how to get them
  • Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone
  • What the Everloving Fuck is Probate
  • Some Simple Dos and Don’ts
  • Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and Memorials
  • How to plan a non-religious death party
  • So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some shit

This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures.

It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death.

I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together.

Good luck!

(in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit)

ms-demeanor

Death sucks, hope you’re doing okay out there.

flufflybunnypants
kaijuslayer

Let me tell you about one of my high school friends’ old Dungeons and Dragons PCs.

Olaf Olafson was your pretty straightforward Northman Barbarian type. Huge, strong, pale, red-haired and with a tremendous beard. What made Olaf special was the little things.

Despite living in a world with clerical magic, demons, and other powerful alignment-based Outsiders, Olaf was an atheist. This was because his people believed the last world had already ended and the gods went with it (basically post-Ragnarok). All that was left were ‘spirits’. Powerful spirits. Who could grant deific magic. But they weren’t gods, and you didn’t have to worship them- in fact you shouldn’t, because it would just inflate their already swollen egos.

Despite being an enormous, frightening, powerful man with dubious hygeine and a propensity for going literally berserk in combat, Olaf was a gentle fellow in towns and villages, had a deep fondness for small fluffy animals and children, and was a generous tipper.

Olaf liked to drink. Not mead, but wine. He liked to sip it. It made him feel ‘civilized’. He never drank it quickly enough to get drunk. His meals almost invariably consisted of “Wine. Meat. Cheese.” Which was what he would order in literally every tavern. They’d ask him to clarify, what sort of wine? What sort of meat? What sort of- Olaf would raise a hand and repeat, slowly, as if to a fool: “Wine. Meat. Cheese.” 

Olaf spoke broken common, more or less Hulk-speak, referred to himself in the third person almost exclusively, all that fun stuff. Then we had a story arc where I sent them up to Olaf’s homeland, where everyone spoke ‘Northman’ or whatever the hell I called it. While up there, he was incredibly fluent. Even poetic. “My brothers! I have returned from the decadent lands of the south, bearing riches and glory, and tales of great deeds!” The other players caught on and talked like a pack of movie Frankensteins, barely able to communicate in the foreign tongue.

For a long time, Olaf was the most financially stable member of the party. Because he bought a tavern in their home-base-town, hired the senior barmaid/waitress lady to be the manager, and funneled the profits back into the business. He kept his adventuring money and his tavern money separate, except when he would sometimes spend adventuring money to expand the tavern. 

 There’s not a lot to do in 3rd edition with skill ranks when you’re a barbarian, so eventually Olaf sank a point into Healing on a lark. A few sessions later, they captured an important enemy NPC, but he’d lost an arm in the fighting and was about to die. Their cleric had been captured and their NPC paladin wasn’t around, either. There was no magical healing available, and no one else had any ranks in healing. The dude was about to die, and take with him the knowledge of where their friends had been taken. Olaf- with a  single rank in Healing I remind you -offered to save his life in exchange for the location, and the guy agreed. Olaf then stuck a sword in the fire, said “Olaf see this once,” and cauterized the wound.

It worked, of course. I didn’t even make him roll. I was too busy trying not to piss myself laughing. “Olaf see this once.” Jesus Christ.

jakey-beefed-it

I deleted this post from my blog back in the days when a popular post would make your dashboard just… just unusable due to notification spam, but I remain pleased that it struck a chord with so many people. I haven’t talked to Olaf’s player in many years, but I think he’d be pleased to see his boy’s success, too.

indigoire
just-a-blog-for-polls

Do you or do you not use makeup and what is the main reason for it?

I do, 'cause I'm not comfortable with my looks without it

I do, 'cause I like the way I look with it (but I'm okay without it too)

I do, 'cause it's a way for me to express myself

I do, 'cause [insert an explanation]

I don't, cause I like my looks just the way I am

I don't, 'cause I would feel uncomfortable to look different than I naturally do

I don't, 'cause I'm allergic / otherwise medically unable to use makeup

I don't, 'cause I don't want to waste money on it

I don't, 'cause [insert an explanation]

This question is not relevant to me

Just show me the results

See Results

Edit: sensory issues can be counted under "otherwise medically unable to" if you feel that to be appropriate

I do occasionally Usually for theatre rehearsals and performances Or when I am putting together a curated look I treat makeup like I treat jewellery It adds to an outfit
flufflybunnypants
thebibliosphere

I know I'm a broken record at this point about how functionally useless editing software has become since AI integration (read: corrections are now being suggested based on user input, not actual grammar rules), but there's nothing quite like a piece of writing software flagging something you've written as an error, and then when you click on it, it can't tell you what the error is.

Just that it thinks something is wrong.

It's like the writing equivalent of the "you better watch out!" meme.

Watch our for what? Nobody knows, but you better watch out!

foxofninetales

Look, you have to appreciate the years of data gathering and programming and feedback and analysis it takes to give software an autoimmune disorder.